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| Thursday, November 5th, 2009 | | 8:48 pm |
Poi!!
Oh yes, one thing about RBW that I (somehow!) neglected to mention was that I got to do a little bit of poi at RBW and now I'm semi obsessed. I must have spent an hour today being hypnotised by cool poi videos on youtube. I don't suppose this is the right sort of time to get the poi bug though, what with the general aweful weather, and a home you couldn't swing a cat in. But it dooooesss look so cool. And after watching those videos I think I understand what it is about poi that I identify with; it is essentially a kind of dance, with its own rhythms, structures and self expression. I love how it is fluid, graceful and dazzling, just like any ballroom style. I also love the way you can improvise with it. More or less, I think Poi looks cool. Just need to get some and a place to practise I suppose :) | | Monday, November 2nd, 2009 | | 8:09 pm |
RBW report
Pinky quipped that the worse you feel after a con the better it must have been. On the basis that I'm now suffering from a fever RBW must have been fantastic >.> Seriously though, the guys did a good job and the boat party itself was as always a blast. I was surprised by just how far we went, going up to the Houses of Parliment and then all the way back past the Thames Barrier. I also got to try my hand at watercolouring, and even though I missed most of Inso's Improv session the bit I got to experience was fun. There were a few nuisances; my chief gripe was that no information was sent via email previous to the con, and people had to search out the RBW livejournal page or twitter. I don't even have twitter, and the frequency I look at livejournal these days is low. Come on guys, how difficult is it to set up a mailing list? If its good enough for EF then I'm sure its good enough for RBW. Would I go again? Sure .... so long as I don't get another fever again >.> Current Mood:  sick | | Thursday, September 17th, 2009 | | 12:13 am |
Fact ... or Fiction
I've noticed my reading habits have gradually gavitated towards the factual ends of the literary spectrum, and at times I wonder if I shouldn't indulge in a bit more fantasy. It just seems to me that facts are so much more important in this complicated world when the people making decisions don't even know what they're doing (exaggeration, but you get the point I hope). Discuss :) | | Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 | | 8:50 pm |
Be inspired
Sometimes, all you need is to be inspired
And sometimes, all it takes is a silly movie like Handcock Hancock Sly gets 10 points for still using LJ :P | | Sunday, August 9th, 2009 | | 5:58 pm |
Distant and directionless
There are several things right now that I should be doing, but actually, what is it that I want to be doing? I do sometimes think that the best days of my life are passing me by now, and I've got nothing left to look forward to except being another cog in a big machine. After all, how do you top a weekend in Kruger National Park in South Africa (still need to sort through those pictures)? Even the energy, the excitement of being part of something like furry seems more remote to me these days. I just find myself distant and directionless these days. I suppose i just feel middle class and middle aged, and in the best traditions of those demographics, rather insecure about it. Current Mood:  nostalgic | | Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 | | 3:42 pm |
Who I am and what I want
Boy it really must take something for me to update on LJ these days, but I feel compelled to do so right now. Since I've not been into work (only got back to South Africa this morning) I've been idly reading articles off my RSS feed, and unusually, clicking through on the related links off them (much like this xkcd comic http://xkcd.com/609/ :) ). This for example, I find interesting because it is so symtomatic of much of the code that my company produces: http://thedailywtf.com/Comments/Soft_Coding.aspxAnd this, pretty much crystallises why although I think I would enjoy programming, I'll never enjoy being a programmer (I suppose I'll stick to my little ad hoc scripts ;) ) http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Programming-Sucks!-Or-At-Least,-It-Ought-To-.aspxIt did make me start to think, and it was a discussion I had with a collegue (and now I would consider a friend) while I was out in South Africa, about who I am and what my niche is in this world. Usually when I spend a day just idling on the net watching flash videos, I usually think of it as a wasted day. But when I spent today watching TED videos, including interesting things like: I felt quite contented with myself. I suppose it is my acedemic nature showing, but I love learning about things, and understanding how they interact together. That gives me real satisfaction. In comparison, I got increasingly frustrated at this meal that I went to in South Africa when our partners there wanted to "treat" us at the end of the project. It went on and on and on, and reminded me of those dinners my grandmother used to throw for her friends that you were expected to attend, be attentive, and most importantly, on your best behaviour. I suppose that shows that I'm not a customer facing people's person after all. Compared to my collegue, I know I'm no sweet talker. I just don't have that skill of persuasion and influencing that he has. Maybe it could be learnt, for example there was a time when I could never deal with high pressure situations, but someone surprised me once by telling me that I seem very calm. Perhaps I've just learnt to hide it better. I can definitely see myself as being an "interface" between techies and management, but the further into management you go, the more alien it seems to me. But going back to being a techie, I think the common theme that appeals in the role is that you should be working with deterministic systems. In a good techie job (and a reason why I think I enjoy my job less these days is because the following applies less now) understanding gained of a systems was universal, and you could use that knowledge to predict future behaviour in a systematic fashion. It should be like a puzzle, a game of Chairman's even; observation / research, hypothesis, testing. That's the bit about "programming" that I like. It probably also reflects in my behaviour. I like to think that I am not a boring person; but I admit true that I usually behave very rationally. I think that its because I hate regretting the consequences of my own actions. My collegue partied late twice on our stay in South Africa, and he woke up regretting it the next day. But the point is that he got over it, whereas for I just wouldn't be able to deal with the fact that it was self-inflicted. I just can't let go of my bad decisions, and the only way I can avoid it is to think through my decisions at all time, searching for the optimal behaviour. At least then, if I get it wrong, I can tell myself that I gave it my best shot. This attitude even explains why I get annoyed at people who play rational games in an irrational way >.> (really need to work on that one). Anyway, there is a whole jumble of ideas there, and this has taken me long enough to write. A past self would have gone through it all and rewritten it to be a lot more coherent with ideas that develop one from another, but my present self is learning to live with imperfections. Current Mood:  accomplished | | Sunday, June 7th, 2009 | | 12:03 am |
A Little Night Music
Just got back from seeing "A Little Night Music" at the Garrick Theatre in London. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Little_Night_MusicWhile rave and gushing reviews may be a little bit boring to read, I thought it was utterly wonderful. The music was enchanting (as you would expect of a Sondheim musical), the standard of the singing absolutely flawless, and the set ingeniously contructed. The script is a classic, and calling the whole thing "whipped cream with knives" I think hits the spot. The cast were all uniformly excellent, but I have a bit of a soft spot for the acid and self-dispairing Kelly Price as Countess Charlotte Malcolm. Most importantly though, the production whisked you away into a story with characters you cheered for. I totally recommend everyone to see it, especially since wikipedia says its only supposed to be showing until the 25th July. Plus we managed to get the best seats in the house practically for 25 quid by just turning up an hour before performance, so it does seem to be less popular than some of the other big names (underservedly so). And hey, how could you possibly say no to the musical that has "Send In The Clowns" in it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE3dLzIYKs8^__^ Current Mood:  happy | | Wednesday, March 11th, 2009 | | 10:07 pm |
Dispite the wonderful things in South Africa I'm missing the UK
They say you should focus on the present, the here and now. That doesn't mean that you can't acknowledge where you've been, and think a bit about where you are going. Well, in this here and now, for some reason, I'm feeling rather down and lonely. It doesn't help that I basically got home and did nothing but watch TV, then go to the hotel restraunt for dinner, but I felt so sapped of the will to do anything else. And I could tell you about all the wonderful things I've been doing here in Africa. I've been to see lions, to visit the large National Park where I saw elephants and rhinos, and zebra and bok. Or my visit to Soweto, the original "poor black area" of Joburg and a flashpoint during the Apartied era. Or how I went to see a fantastic show called Umoja - Spirit of Togetherness last Friday, or what I bought at the flea market on Sunday. Or perhaps I could talk about the going to the Blues Room last night and sitting in on some stand up comedy. Or I could tell you about tomorrow night when we are going to attempt to go live with our system again. As far as I can think we've covered all our angles this time, but I can't help feel nervous about it. If this doesn't go right then I'm going to be stuck out here even longer. And the truth is, here and now, I'm missing the UK, and my kitsune, and my board games group on Mondays. I'm missing all the people who I haven't seen since last year practically. I'm feeling antisocial, and lacking the will to go out there, but I'm also feeling lonely and in need of a good cuddle from my special someone Meh, you can't escape the LJ cliches sometimes. It is all too easy to moan and whine on these things | | Sunday, March 1st, 2009 | | 9:44 pm |
| | Thursday, February 26th, 2009 | | 10:59 pm |
A wonderful day in Jo'burg
I don't know why this is, but people seem to start work incredibly early here, and I've been getting in around 8 or 8:30. Usually, I still finish at 6:30 or later, but today, miraculously, we finished on time and I left at 4:30. This gave me the opportunity to tell the taxi driver to take me into central Jo'burg and allow me to explore the place a bit. And central Jo'burg really is a world away from sterile Sandton (where my hotel is). Central Jo'burg, I suppose nowadays downtown Jo'burg is filled with huge office blocks, many abandoned. There are small shops at street level, many also closed, but there are people, people going about their daily lives, trying to keep out of the rain, waiting for taxis, generally everything you would expect out of a bustling metropolis. The only thing that was different was that they were all black. This impression was only reinforced when I got to the shopping centre I'd planned to visit (the Carlton Center); black shopkeepers closing shop for the night, people generally milling around. Upstairs there was a small arcade and internet cafe, but the draw of the place was a small pool area with 4 or 5 pool tables. And this area was packed with young black people smoking, socialising and obviously playing pool. Music was playing and people seemed to be having fun. Downtairs there was this funky cafe restraunt where black people were having dinner, and the waiter was gently bopping to the trace music being played. In a nutshell, it was everything you would expect of an ordinary downtown area ... except that there wasn't a single white person there. Its almost as if the black people have recreated it as a black metropolis and white people are still too scared to go there for fear of their lives. Did I feel threatened? Well, certainly I remained wary, and I must have stood out like a sore thumb. But I think if I had been black, or had been accompanied by a black companion, then I would have felt safe enough to wander the streets rather than coop myself in the shopping mall (which isn't all tha big). Much like any downtown area, looking like you're not familiar with your surroundings could be dangerous, and because you don't blend in, it is very difficult to hide being an obvious stranger here. The real jewel of the Carlton Centre though is what is called "Top of Africa". Basically they've turned the 50th floor of the building into an observation deck and it is truely spectacular to see Jo'burg from that height. I got the place pretty much to myself because I got there so late, and I got treated to seeing Jo'burgs light turn on as the sky dimmed. I even got a fantastic view of the lightning and thunderstorms that had been making traffic so horrendous. I could see cars pile up on the main roads, and yet some roads remained quiet. I could see the grid pattern of that area of the city, and thouhgt that is was the closest I'd ever gotten to knowing what somewhere like New York is like. I got told eventually that the way I'd come in had been locked up, so someone had to call a service lift for me to get out of the observation deck. Afterwards my taxi driver took me to the Market Theater where I had dinner at Gramadoelas. The guide book had recommended it, and it turned out that the owners of the restauraunt have an interest in Baba-Nyona foods, because it has close links to Africaan and Dutch cooking. This was certainly an unexpected surprise and kinda broke the ice between us, and I told them that this was essentially my ancestry, and perhaps partly explains why I seem to keep comparing South Africa to Malaysia. Anyway, they told me a lot about the history of South Africa and a commentary of the current situation on the street. They provided a very balanced view of security in Jo'burg, and it was refreshing to find people who weren't completely paranoid it. Their eventual conclusion was that now is not a good time to be on the streets because of the upcoming elections and the ferocious political battles turning nasty. However, had a come last year, they would not have hesitated to tell me to walk around a bit and explore the place. I eventually decided to ask about their relationship, and it turned out that they were a (lovely greying) gay couple. One of them seems a bit senile now, but the other was wonderfully sharp and I spent most of my time talking to him over dinner. Company certainly makes dinner more pleasant. Anyway, at the end of the meal he gave me his business card and I gave him my email so that if they are ever in the UK, they can give me a buzz and I can take them out to dinner or something. Truly they were a lovely couple and it was a pleasure to eat at their restauraunt. | | Friday, February 20th, 2009 | | 7:54 pm |
South Africa day 3
I had something of an enlightening conversation about South Africa (or rather, Johannesburg I suppose) on IRC today that I thought I should record.
There was, I suppose, something that bugged me about South Africa, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I love the weather ... it truly is quite astonishing to find a place that can be so sunny, and yet remain at a cool and pleasant temperature. I brought several T shirts, and yet the weather feels almost just a little bit too cool for that. Apparently, the temperature is 21 C, so imagine the inside of an air conditioned office, or, I suppose, quite a nice British summer, but perhaps a little bit too cool for a Malaysian to wear a T shirt at night. It is nice however to get day after day of blue skies and fluffy clouds interspersed with heavyhunderstorms.
I suppose I'm going to take it as a given that the land, the plants and animals, are wondrous. A few of the flowers I've seen so far are quite spectacular, but I haven't seen that much of it and no interesting animals as yet. So on that front, much of it is still in my imagination rather than my memory. Hopefully, that will change :)
However, I think the main rub I have with South Africa is the people, or some of the people. It doesn't help that every posh residence here has electric fences around them, and I'm not sure if they say more about the people the fences are trying to keep out, or trying to protect. There seems to be an overwhelming paranoia and pessimism here among the so called whites, about how the country is going down the drain, and you know, in some ways I think that they are right, but not in the way that they intend. While South Africa remains the economic engine of Africa, I find it hard not to compare it with somewhere like Malaysia. Also rich in resources, Malaysia received independence later than South Africa, and yet in some respects has become more developed. I do get the impression that South Africa has neglected opportunities, and put simply is underperforming. Personally, I would attribute it to years of segregation and sanctions (still within living memory) where potential was left unfulfilled.
Perhaps this is partly coloured by some of the specific people I am having to work with do. They can be very negative about the state of the country, and that affects my perception of the place.
Anyway, that is enough for now. Time to get some food! | | Thursday, February 19th, 2009 | | 10:15 pm |
Jo'burg, South Africa, Day 2
Well, much like how I tried to keep a journal while I was away in China, I'm going to try and do the same thing while I am here in Johannesburg on work. I can tell you, it has not been restful, and I have already been "volunteered" to work this weekend (there goes my plan to go to the lion park this weekend). I didn't sleep well last night after the discussions I had with the various senior ranking managers who had to be flown out to manage the situation. Well, they've gone now, so it's my turn to fulfill what has been promised. However, apart from that, Johannesburg is an amasing place. The weather is quite unlike what I expected; its high summer, the Sun is gorgeous, but the place still feels relatively cool and pleasant. I am told that this comes from the relatively high altitude. The food is good too. Tonight I ate the most part of a huge fish, grilled to perfection, outside under a tree decked with lights. I can only describe it as magical. There was one interesting incident when two of the waiters started sqabbling, but that soon got dispursed. It was interested to see such unprofessional attitude in such a swanky restraunt. By and large, most of the waiters in the restraunts are polite to a tee, and I have been impressed at the service I've received. Oh and that's the other thing I like. This is the first country I have found that sells fruit juice in cans. And they taste good as well. Sure, they are no innocent smoothies, but its 100% fruit juice and they taste great. After all, how can you beat lychee and pear juice :) However, much like Malaysia, this place is not for walking. I got the taxi to drop me off at a nearby shopping mall for dinner, and decided that I would walk back from the mall to the hotel. Now, everyone has told me that I'm talking a huge risk walking around Johannesburg, and tonight, I kinda understood why. Since all the wealthy people drive, there is practically no other pedestrains on the road, apat from the occasional stragger who can't afford to drive. The walkway back to the hotel was cordonned off, so for a significant part of the journey back I was walking beside a very busy main road. Oh the other thing worth mentioning is there appears to be problems with the electricity supplies here. In the space of a couple of hours while unpacking yesterday, I experienced 2 power cuts. Neither lasted for long, but afterwards I understood why the mains powered alarm clock was unplugged ... it reset itself to 12:00 after each power cut! I wish I had more time to explore the place a more thoroughly. I fear that I will have visited South Africa without going to any of the nature reserves. Dispite the locals constantly bemoaning the state of the country, I think deep inside they have a huge amount of pride for the land. Everyone first of all asks if this is my first visit, and generally do try and encourage me to explore the country ... that is after I've done all the work that we've promised to do. | | Sunday, December 7th, 2008 | | 4:28 pm |
Weekend
Busy weekend. Yus. Love my Husku~
Yus!
^_______________________^
~Temmy Current Mood: thankful | | Saturday, November 1st, 2008 | | 1:19 pm |
*bounce bounce bounce*
While listening to some music today I started thinking about my special kitsune and I just started to bounce around like ... like a happy little puppy. And I realised that, just knowing he's there somewhere makes me feel happy. *waves* Hello Temmy ^_____^ Oh yes, and maybe expect more posts later. I have a backlog of things that I've been writing on my new Blackberry that I haven't posted but may do so once I've had the time to review them. | | Monday, October 6th, 2008 | | 12:51 pm |
General breakage
Don't you just hate it when programs try to do things without your permission and go screw things up? Well that's what Firefox just did on my home computer; it tried to update itself to 3.0.3 (I think) but got caught by my ZoneAlarm. Unfortunately, by the time I got round to telling ZoneAlarm that it was ok the update script had finished and Firefox was left in a wierd state. From what I could see not even IE 7 was working (something about a XUML Runner?) Anyway, I've uninstalled Firefox now and that has at least solved part of the problem. However, IE is having a problem with the "Rich Text" editor on Livejournal, so I'm doing this from work (Hey, doesn't it have a plain text editor anymore?) Anyway, the only reason I am updating is to tell people that I have lost my mobile phone. Thankfully I am atthe end of my contract so I'm currently negotiating for a replacement. I do intend to keep my number so I'll let you all know when I have a new new mobile. | | Sunday, September 7th, 2008 | | 1:24 am |
| | Thursday, July 17th, 2008 | | 11:46 am |
Oh yeah , and happy birthday Tungro, and happy belated birthday Azron. Hope you are having a good'un | | 11:36 am |
Moving house and dental surgery
Well, I'm moving house today so as of this weekend I will be without internets at home. Still not sure how I want to do it; do I get a BT line and broadband on top, a LLU package of some sort, go with Virgin cable broadband, or get mobile broadband? Overall I suppose it makes sense to get a phone line of some sort, but it'll partly depend on who else moves into this house and what they want. Seeing all your stuff packed away in boxes is a weird experience. Some of it I never use so I am debating whether I should just throw it away ... especially since my new room will be smaller and I think there is less storage space. I oscillate between thinking that there is a huge amount of stuff, and then thinking that it is not. I suppose it is quite a lot of stuff. And then tomorrow, I'm having dental surgery to have a wisdom tooth extracted. Considering this problem was identified last Christmas, it certainly has taken me a long time to get to this point. After that I'll have to look into getting a filling for the tooth next to it, since the dentist said that a cavity has started forming there. Well, that's all for now ... hope to see you guys on the other side of this weekend >.> Current Mood:  intimidated | | Saturday, July 5th, 2008 | | 8:33 am |
Aaaaand thats a wrap
Well, it is time to say goodbye to Shen Zhen. Its been quite a learning experience coming out here; this was the first time I got sent somewhere where I can't speak the first language of the area, and that creates more obstacles than I anticipated. English speaking people really are spoiled when it comes to language. I also have a much better appreciation for how vulnerable one can feel when in a far flung country without a means of communication.
I think, compared to the last project I did, I have been calmer this time round, but there is still room for improvement. I've come to expect that there will be problems and cultivated quite a jaded view of the whole process. However, I think I still judge my selfworth based on other people's approval and that can make me quite fragile if things aren't going well. I'm lucky in this case because we were eventually sucessful in our testing but if it hadn't been so I'm not sure how I would have reacted. I think ultimately, this kind of role requires someone who can judge their own self worth, rather than depend on other people's approval.
It is also so painful working without all the usual tools I am used to in my office enviroment. No wireshark until it became painfully obvious we would need it, limited access to my notes, even things like an awkward system for copy and paste. I got used to it eventually but it never helps. These tools are like magic, but they do become a crux that become relied on.
Its no big news that I can generally be a bit disorganised with my work; my naming conventions are rarely consistent, I tend to hop and skip around the proceedure instead of follow it accurately line by line (to a certain extent adaptability was required for this project because so little details were available up front). But what I have learnt is that I can benefit from taking a step back every so often and pause. Numerous times when I did that, I suddenly remembered that there were additional steps I had to take, or new ideas to resolve a problem. Numerous times I jumped to the "big moment" (i.e. start up the system, start a cycle of test messages etc) and suddenly realise that I had missed out a step which I needed to perform. Taking a step back and disengaging fully from the task at hand gives the brain space to remind you of all the other things that need doing.
I should also mention at this point that I couldn't have done it without the help of my "translator," who provided excellent technical help. He did a sterling job of fending off the customer and made an excellent sounding board for ideas. He pretty much organised me on a day to day basis, setting goals each day, reminding me of things that still needed to be done, and noticing things I had missed, like when the amber LED indicating a memory fault came on. I have to admire the way he took the lead, even if it did make me feel dissociated sometimes.
I do still wonder what other people do when they come across a problem they can't fix. For me, it is very obvious from my behaviour that I'm flummoxed, and I don't suppose that this gives the customer any reassurance. I also tend to be very good at creating doubt rather than confidence (a mixture of inquisitiveness and paranioa).
Overall, it has been a good learning experience, both professionally and personally. | | Thursday, June 26th, 2008 | | 11:09 pm |
Shen Zhen 5
Work was stressful, but dinner was great. Waking up early did do me in a bit (not to mention a slightly too spicy lunch) but it was worth it to speak to my kitsune ^^
Anyway, just had my bath and it is time for bed. Zzzzzz ... |
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